Fifteen percent of these couples described their sex together as very limited or non-existent. However, they fully valued their home-life, felt very loving toward each other, and saw non-monogamy as a way to keep what was best about their relationship love, companionship and creating a life together.
There are some persistent myths gay men hear about their relationships. The first is that it is impossible for gay men to stay true to a monogamous commitment. A lot of the data in our studies counters these myths. We found that both monogamous and non-monogamous couples can have enduring, healthy and happy relationships.
We also found that it was the norm for long-term couples, both monogamous and non-monogamous, to have enduring, satisfying sex lives within their primary relationships. We fully expected that non-monogamous couples would cite the need to actively choose their relationship style and communicate regularly about it. But we were surprised to hear monogamous couples use the same kind of language to describe their efforts: Both camps also complained equally about the lack of support they receive in the gay community for their choices.
Even now, six years after posting our original study, we get hits a day at our website, and the report on that study is being downloaded times a month. A number of our respondents mentioned feeling safer within a monogamous relationship because of this, but it was never the sole reason for making the choice.
There is nothing in this study that would lead us to conclude that preaching monogamy would be an effective HIV prevention strategy. Every couple is unique. We are all fluid beings, and our relationships will change over time. Lanz Lowen coaches executive leaders and facilitates team-building with The Mandana Group.
He can be reached at lanzlowen aol. Blake Spears is a retired healthcare consultant. He currently serves on the boards of three HIV-related non-profits as well as three other non-profit organizations. He can be reached at dbspears aol. Our e-newsletters bring you the best of our blog each month. Read More. New Trends in Gay Male Relationships: The Choices Study. Jewish Theological Seminary , considered to be the flagship institution of Conservative Judaism , decided in March to begin accepting applicants in same-sex relationships, after scholars who guide the movement lifted the ban on ordaining people in same-sex relationships.
On the other hand, the Anglican Communion encountered discord that caused a rift between the African except Southern Africa and Asian Anglican churches on the one hand and North American churches on the other when American and Canadian churches openly ordained clergy in same-sex relations and began blessing same-sex unions. Other churches such as the Methodist Church had experienced trials of clergy in same-sex relations who some claimed were a violation of religious principles resulting in mixed verdicts dependent on geography.
Some religious groups have even promoted boycotts of corporations whose policies support same-sex relations. In early , the American Family Association threatened a boycott of Ford products to protest Ford's perceived support of "the homosexual agenda and homosexual marriage". LGBT culture. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Further information: Homoeroticism , Lesbian literature , and Gay literature. This section needs expansion. You can help by adding to it. July The examples and perspective in this article may not represent a worldwide view of the subject. You may improve this article , discuss the issue on the talk page , or create a new article , as appropriate.
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Sleeping with other people: how gay men are making open relationships work
Same-sex marriage , Civil union , and Domestic partnership. Main article: LGBT parenting. Worldwide laws regarding same-sex intercourse and freedom of expression and association. Rings indicate areas where local judges have granted or denied marriages or imposed the death penalty in a jurisdiction where that is not otherwise the law or areas with a case-by-case application. Men who have sex with men. Women who have sex with women.
Religion and homosexuality. LGBT portal Sexuality portal. Same-sex marriage is legal in at least 40 of them. Application to American Samoa unclear. Truth Wins Out.
Same-sex relationship - Wikipedia
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Butler, Katy March 7, New York Times. Coleman, Eli December 14, Journal of Homosexuality. Bozett, Frederick W. August 19, Gay and Lesbian Parents. Greenwood Publishing Group. Retrieved on J Homosex. State by State". Human Rights Campaign. Retrieved Future of Children Retrieved December 17, American Sociological Review. The American Psychologist. Archived from the original PDF on APA HelpCenter. Archived from the original on The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Archived from the original on January 22, Sex, Politics and Society: The Regulation of Sexuality Since Honesty, trust, and a sense of protecting the relationship were cited as the most important reasons for agreements.
When analysed by serostatus of both partners, only concordant negative couples listed HIV and STI prevention among their top motivators for making an agreement. In this study there was no difference in relationship satisfaction between couples with monogamous and open agreements. This finding of the similarity between couples with open and monogamous agreements echoes that of Wagner et al. This finding suggests that having an unambiguous agreement about sex outside the relationship, regardless of the nature of the agreement, is associated with greater relationship quality in general, than not having an explicit agreement.
There has also been research interest in the recognition, or otherwise, of same-sex relationships. Judith Butler, however, proposed that the legitimisation of same-sex relationship by the state comes at the expense of relationships that fall outside these couple-centred relationship forms. These other relationships subsequently remain unrecognised and illegitimate.
The burgeoning literature on gay men and parenthood has some strong links with the way relationships are increasingly conceived and idealised. Parenthood may also be tied up with particular relationship ideals that may make it difficult for men to negotiate, or disclose, sex with other partners.
An interesting US study among gay male couples with children found that agreements regarding sex with outside partners closely resembled those documented in studies of gay couples who were not parents. Rather, it is intended to highlight some of the trends in this research over the last few decades. The findings from this research identified innovative strategies to minimise risk of HIV from regular and casual partners. However, since being promoted by health promotion agencies, research has shown that these strategies are not always implemented as intended.
A common theme across several of the studies included here is that communication is not always easy between partners, and that men do not always have a common understanding with their partner of the parameters of their agreement. A small number of studies have investigated relationship ideals and aspirations, which may also be changing over time.
There is greater need for further work on gay male kinship more broadly including forms that involve more than two people, and also perhaps on the sexual relationship possibilities that are enabled by new technologies that provide the opportunity for a blurring of the division between regular and casual partners. Maintenance of open gay relationships: AIDS Care , 4 4 , — Wagner, G. Prevalence of extradyadic sex in male couples of mixed HIV status and its relationship to psychological distress and relationship quality.
Journal of Homosexuality , 39 2 , 31— Somewhere over the rainbow: Journal of Sociology , 38 3 , — Families we choose: Lesbians, gays and kinship. Columbia University Press, Albany. Cruising to familyland: Gay hypergamy and rainbow kinship. Current Sociology , 52 2 , — The families of man: Gay male intimacy and kinship in a global metropolis.
Journal of Women in Culture and Society , 30 3 , — Gay parenthood and the decline of paternity as we knew it. Sexualities , 9 1 , 27—
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